Realizing the potential or arrogance in disguise

Realizing the potential or arrogance in disguise, it's a fine balance it seems between the two it. I think for the first time, I'm actually asking those that take time to read this infrequent blog (I have no idea who reads mental download I do) on what one should do, or what it is that seems to be going on. Let me explain. This as you know, is my second attempt at an Ironman and I won't settle for just going out and 'doing' the event, I want to see what I can do. For reference, I had my heart set on getting the elusive "M-dot" tattoo done at the completion of my first IM, but after completing it, I felt that I had not deserved it, stating that although I did one, I had not raced one. Here we are into week 17 of 20 (shit that sounds scary, but must be right as they've now told us our race numbers) and the past few weeks have had a clear focus on ensuring I can get as much out of the training as I can. I feel I've been doing just that, pushing myself harder to realize the full potential of the session, but really is it enough? To be honest, over this campaign, I feel that although I've done what I said I would, I would give myself an 8 out of 10 for the program. The miles are there, the hours, equivalent to a good part time job are racking up and now I'm beginning to wonder. Last time I wrote, I was talking about the potential of moving the goal posts. In that I had two critical training sessions in mind on how to gauge my performance and if I should push harder. Well, I can tell you, my first one was this past Saturday's 200km ride through the mountains and I've ticked the box. The ride starts in the City and out into the mountains, with a number of big climbs to do. Before setting out, Mark said that usually he wouldn't say this but, as we were all going fairly well in our training and we were a smallish group, he told us to push it a bit and see how it goes. Before knowing this, I wanted to try and go a bit better than I did 8 weeks prior, which was my best time at the same ride, so this was yet another reason to push it a bit. We all headed out and went together, till Petrie then it was open game. My approach to the ride was to ride strong, yet consistent, and when it came to the aid stations, drop the old, grab the new and get going as quickly as possible. To be honest, the first hour didn't feel that great, but hey, it was a long ride. I was quickly on my own letting some of the big guns head out ahead of me. Once I got to the first mountain climb, I was quickly into my element, for some sick reason, I love to climb on the bike. I made it to the first aid stop and I stuck to my plan of grab and go. I think I surprised a few people about my quick stop, but I wanted to simulate race conditions as close as I could. Out I headed and kept at it. I was starting to feel better and the legs were feeling much better. Out onto some of the deadest road known to man, I was caught by a couple of my mates, and away we went. Through the rollers and into the 2nd stop. Another grab and go and I was off. Everyone was there except for one, who was already through. I think I surprised them again, but it was the plan. I now had the worst 4.6km portion of the ride most of it at a 15% grade. A solid, yet slightly tough approach and I had made it up. A quick check from Mark and he told me to keep pushing it (as a coach might do) and try and own the ride, see if I could make it there first. Well, this little push made me think a bit, Gleeso was up front, but apparently was having bike issues. I caught him on the downhill out of Mapleton, rode with him for a bit, but then he had to stop again. He told me to keep going, even after offering to help (if I could) he pushed me to keep riding, which I did. Now I'm in virgin territory, out in front and still a good 60ish kms to the finish. I kept at it keeping consistent and was feeling okay. My nutrition plan was good and I was feeling okay, so I opened it up a bit more, knowing I had the group coming up behind. I got into a rhythm, and the legs were turning over, until Maroochydore, then the headwind started. It was all I could do to hold 32kms/hr but the bigger piss off was the lights. Just as you got into it, red light. Start up again, settle into the areo bars, red light. I swore a few times but that didn't help the situation, but it felt good. I was now at Kawana waters and still out there on my own. Then a few kms down the road at another red light, Gleeso, Timo and Doylee caught me. It was nice to see people again but I was a bit pissed off that they had caught me so close to the finish. The light went green and I hopped out of the seat to see how they were going. I was quickly on 35-36 kms/hr and a quick look, they were there, so I settled into it and rode to the finish with them. I'd pushed it harder and I might have, but all up I'd taken 41 minutes off my time from 8 weeks prior. Everyone was feeling good about the ride which was great to see and proof the hard work was paying off. I backed up the ride with a good 20km run the next day with Vaughn and the legs felt remarkably good. So, here is my dilemma, this time around, I'm feeling more confident, I'm putting in the miles, but this first of 2 indicators completed better than expected, does this mean I should push harder for a faster time come race day? I feel I can go faster, but is that being too cocky? Some people have been telling me I've continually underperformed and that I'm just now starting to see the potential that's always been there. What's the truth, I'm feeling good, I think I can kill it, but is this the true potential showing through, or simply the opposite. Can one base a race on a key training session, or stick to the status quo? Happy training and I'll let you know in two weeks how the second key session goes.